Mark this day

I'm so sorry for saying no huhuhuhhu
I don't mean to reject you or keep away from you but i'm afraid of the repercussions both immediate and in the future
I don't want to be a burden to you but please know that everything you do is very much appreciated and treasured
Everything, even the smallest gestures
I feel so stupid and guilty and i want to cry for being a total sissy like this i'm so sorry
But i am grateful for everything
I appreciate the offer to drive me home
I'm surprised, to be honest, pleasantly surprised
I'm just mostly grounded by fear of judgment and the idea that i'll be furthering the time it takes for you to get home and just being a clumsy burden altogether
But i love you and i hope i could show that in some way, that'll make your life easier, even the littlest things i could do to help you, i would do them if it would make you feel better
I hope for chances and shit but i'm so scared to move
How fucking lousy is that