This unspeakable yearning is rather depressing. It can drag every little detail of life down.
I miss you, but... not so much, in that, you don't seem to miss me anyway. Which just tells me that.. my hope is for naught.
But i miss you and your imaginary warmth from an imaginary hug. Something i have not had for years. Something lost to me but i'm still trying to find. I miss your imaginary companionship and our imaginary connection, an imaginary bridge we can both cross. A breaking of chains. A pure and wholesome freedom.
I can only long for it. Reality remains cold and unwelcoming...

I forget how it feels like to be genuinely interested in anything.
It's like... there is a void that is supposed to be filled with happy things, interesting things, things that i want to know more about... but this void is being continuously filled up with other things, these other things that are like strong flowing water from a continuously running faucet, and the void is continuously full and moving, flowing and erupting, not keeping anything, and nothing good is coming in and staying, because it is also being pushed out by the continuous fall and spill of water...