i'm...



kind of binging on food, i think.



this is bad, if it's binging.



i'm being way too affected by this.

I'm starting to lose patience with you. I can't keep waiting for too long.

Though yeah, it's not like I'll ever find anyone just yet lol.

But also, if it's not meant to happen, if you don't want it to happen, then it's not gonna happen, no matter how many planets line up in the cosmos, no matter how many books are written about it, no matter how long wars are fought over it. It's just not gonna happen if you don't want it to happen.

Am I relying on your decision and preference? Yes, I am. Because I'm sure you know better than I do.

▶ Daughter - Landfill Lyrics - YouTube

▶ Daughter - Landfill Lyrics - YouTube



this song is so beautiful. it describes what i feel right now. i need something to make me hate you.

I don't know what to do with you. I just don't.

It would be nice to be involved (?) in your world but I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure how it would go, and I'm not sure if you're willing.

It's hard to get to know you more because of our age gap and because... well, there's just no other connection besides work. Erm. I guess I'm kinda waiting for a definite move from you. But tbh, I can't see much of... I mean, it looks like it would result in 1 good and a billion bad.

*sigh* It feels like being pumped full of adrenaline then being locked up in a tiny cage.

I want something to happen. I want progress. But I'm also reluctant about it happening. I wish people didn't gossip and react too much.

Dear God help me. I am so falling for him. It has to stop because there's just no reason for me to fall. I CANNOT fall for him. I CANNOT LOVE HIM. BUT I DO. AND IT'S NOT RIGHT.

SHIT MAN WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO EVERYTHING.

TELL ME SOMETHING THAT WILL TURN ME OFF.

HELP ME FORGET YOU.

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, I'M ON THE VERGE OF LOVING YOU, AND IT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN. IT. SHOULD. NOT. HAPPEN. I SHOULD NOT LOVE YOU.

I missed you. Goodnight.

There. Is. Nothing.

Convince yourself.

There. Is. Nothing. Nothing.

The depression will come and you will have to rise again.

Maybe it's not because you don't. Maybe it's because no one does.

I don't ask for a majority, that would be quite terrifying. But a little wouldn't be so bad. And it could actually be good.

But then, even if everyone does, if it's not you, then it can never be the same.

Gah. Whatever. I'm not superwoman.

It's just not there, is it?

I don't want to make the move, so I'll just keep hoping that you would.

Whatever am I doing with my life.

Scary. Scary shit going on here.

It's depressing though. Something must really be wrong with me.

I hear a lotta peeps be like oh hey im fine being single bla bla i dont need anyone my life is complete.
I was like that before. Still kinda am until now. But it also is depressing when it feels like you're just... yanno, nothing worth noticing.
Someone noticed me before but I kinda panicked lol. And... call me an ass, but not my type anyway, and what he did was pretty traumatizing to me. Others would prolly appreciate it though. I dunno.

I just... want to know what you think. Want to know if I'm just a passing shadow to you. I miss you so much it's nuts. And it's pathetic. And it's... just sad. And I'm sad. Nah, lonely sounds better a bit. I'm just generally not happy.