40 minutes more to decide.
To tell or not to?
I want this over with, but i'm so scared of the implications...

Hey, love. If you already know, just tell me, so i can stop being anxious.

I think we connect, but at the same time, it all looks superficial...
Why, i wonder.
I'm probably just along the first few chapters of the book, as it is.
I'm... not sure how this is... what this is... or maybe i'm just thinking too much of everything. Again.

I don't put up my mushy thoughts on plurk or anywhere else because i feel people are gonna judge me for 'em.
A bit on plurk, but not so much as i feel i would saturate my friends with em lol.
But i don't know how else to translate or express my feelings than through writing them down. I'd have my tongue in tangles if i tried speaking out everything, coupled with the shakes because holy crap i'd be nervous as heck.
Expressive people are lucky to have their ability.
I feel like i can't do shit with what i have. Even my art feels distorted lol.
But anyway...
I'm just a hopeless romantic trying to build a story in my head, which one day is going to tumble down, all of it, because all it's ever made with are airy wishes and flitting dreams...
Sadly.

I don't know what to make of you...

Christmas came and went, and you were nowhere to be found...

*sigh*

I don't know why i keep hoping when no signs means a clear No...
Like, i would have loved a simple greeting, but even that was not given.

Indifference can hurt...

Feeling so down...
I want to send you a message about my feelings but i'm too scared that you'll fly away...
So i'm still thinking and trying to decide.
And now one of my loves is missing or gone...
I want to cry... it feels like too much... and seeing the hope/sadness of mum kitty... it probably would sound funny to someone else but omg... i feel what she feels and it's so fucking heavy on my heart... i feel guilty that i can't take care of them better...
💧

Nakakaiyak lang yung pagkatorpe ko haha. Ang hirap magsalita.

Tanga mo kasi. Hintay ka nang hintay eh... unang una, di ka naman nya hinahanap. Pangalawa, di naman sya nagpahintay.
Ewan ko baaaaaaaa.
Nakaka-frustrate lang.
Mas ok na sana yung ayaw/huwag kesa nakabitin ka sa ere...

guessing you were at work today. wish i could've gone there too. sadly can't.
then again, it's not like anyone needs me there for anything besides work. esp you. you don't even need me for work. you just don't, in general.
it's always been this sad state... going 3years now. i wish i can easily change this.

I miss you. I'm sorry if i'm awkward, or if i seem like i don't care about you, and i look snobbish... i just don't know how to translate how i feel. I wish you'd see the things i write so that you'll know the turmoil running in my head... :|

Dreamed that i had kissed you on your right cheek. That's after a long trip somewhere. It was both a thank you and a trial. You were surprised, and i think you backed away, though very very subtly, and it felt like you're not coming back.

Will you already be there tomorrow..?

Why am i even asking. I already told myself a buncha times to stop. It's not like it's mutual. Feck this.

i missed you.

i know it's not obvious, because i consciously try to keep it hidden. but i missed you. and i was so happy to have found a monkey key chain because omg i didn't know what to give you LOL

i don't know if i'm disappointing being like this. i don't know how to break my own barrier...

I hope you'll be there tomorrow because jfc if you won't be i feel like i'd be bringing this melancholy with me for 4/more days...
It's not the right thing to feel esp since i want to forget you but here it is. Presenting it to you.