i can literally feel my heart "flowering" o_O
weird feeling.
oh well. so long as it's joyous.

feeling this.

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right yet
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you
Now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

interesting how i'm finding brothers and sisters in communities other than my clan.

besides my ninang's family of course. they are sisters to me.

to be the object of affection.

feels nice. but still depends on who the person is.

feels more flattering if the person is already stuck with someone but still proclaims affection for you.

feels nicer but also feels worse. knowing that you could be the cause of a separation.

a smile replaced by a quicker frown.

a happiness replaced by bitter sadness.

it's true. bittersweet. wanting more but going against it.

sort of like punishing yourself for something that isn't your fault :'(

f*ck heill.

why can't feelings be controlled.

the guy's chained for chrissakes.

crap. i hate it. so much for assuming.

napipikon ako tuwing nakikita ko mukha mo.

kasalanan mong nasira yung imahe mo sakin.

sana di nalang kita nakilala. nakakasira ka ng araw. kung...

actually pwede kita idelete. kaso feeling ko sobrang babaw ko na nun.

wag ka na ulit magpakita.

i miss you.

wow flying away lahat ng buhok ko. hahaha XD

ohwell. goes to show that i'm happy today.

i just realized that i am happy when i'm interacting with people, or even just listening to them talk or reading their conversations.

i'm happy to be surrounded by people who are truly alive.

and it goes to show that i'm not as unreachable as others take me to be.

This is my Winter Song to you
A storm is coming soon
It rolls in from the sea

My love a beacon in the night
My words will be your light
To carry you to me...

Is love alive?

----------

...She better hold him tight,
give him all her love,
look in those beautiful
and know she's lucky 'cause
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do...

He's the time taken up,
but there's never enough.
And he's all that I need to fall into.

tired. and missing in action.

also missing in action.

when will you come back?

moron almost had me. sick bastard. i hate him. I HATE HIM. i wish he wasn't so thick headed. he just can't get it. durrrr.

new friend. a traveler. i wish i could swim the oceans without having to worry about anything that i left behind. i wish i had nothing to leave behind.

i wish the outside didn't matter. i'm such a hypocrite. i feel bad, but i also feel good with what i did. he deserves it anyway. i don't want to cause further burden. it sickens me much.

tired. you're missing in action :(

happy happy ^^ that was good enough ^^

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.

How to save a life.

I FUCKING CRIED WHEN SOMEONE TOLD ME: "ate ang bait mo po."

MY GOD. WHATEVER IS HAPPENING TO ME.