i find that i am too sensitive for the feelings of others that even the smallest hate becomes way too magnified for me to confront the person.

but sometimes i confront them and everything gets unwell.

why on earth are people making simple things more complicated?

we have a subject called Sociology 3. it tackles social ethics based on the Catholic Church's rules and regulations. one of its topics was about Hope. about a New School of Hope. about Christian Hope. i mean, Jesus...it's just hope! it's just a feeling of wanting something, wishing it will happen or wishing it will come.

whatever are these other topics about?!

...hmm...

maybe my emotional reactions arent quite trained yet to respond correctly to situations so embarassing my head couldn't even think a thought.

then again, maybe im also too forgiving to let that one go.

and flattered/exasperated as i am at that time, my skin still felt no recognition of gooseflesh or the reddening of my cheeks.

what on earth is my sensory system doing?

is there a reason for me to get mad at the world?

well guess what, i have all the reasons.

i can very much relate to Tessa Wells from the book Rosary Girls. The author/murderer's viewpoint of her is something of a loner trying to belong to a circle of friends. i think i am like that because at other times, i am clearly left out. im not blaming my friends for this. im not putting any responsibility towards them about not 'seeing' me or sumthing. i think its all because i just dont belong to their group of interest. there are times when i think that it would be best for me to become a hermit of some sort. obviously that would mean cutting out all my contact to the outside world, but then i also cant keep away from computers and the internet. if only i could be something else. not another person. i actually would want to become a wandering soul, something that goes along floating around the world, enjoying sanctity and solemnity on my own. looking at things as people have never seen them before.
so i guess i really am much more a loner, and i think im enjoying it very much.

one of the things i hate about this modern world of ours:

PLASTIC.

both literally and not literally.

i am very disturbed (negatively) by men trying to look sexy through using grip fitting shirts.

its either i like em or i hate em.

and i like rockstars :)