there's a lingering emptiness everyday...

i don't know what i want but i don't want a lot of things.

i only want to be, to do what i love. to find what i love.

it feels like being in a bubble.

where trying to knock on other people's doors only results in rejection.

while other people are forcefully trying to enter that bubble, but they are not welcome.

it's like i know how to be but i don't want to be because of prying, judging eyes.

it's like not finding my home.

it's living in someone else's bubble, and while that is not something i totally hate, it's also something that feels like a burden. and i feel guilty and selfish for feeling this way.

but i'm also so, so tired of living this way.

it also feels too late to change. but i know that one day i will be forced to change, and by then i think i might already be too jaded to happily accept these changes. that's pretty scary.

25minutes to a new year.

Nothing. Just nothing.
I feel like a ghost, and i don't want to keep haunting you if it's not welcome anyway.

:(
I dont feel like greeting anyone. I just want to get away from everyone.
It always feels like.. either the world rejects me or it demands too much, and i can't keep up so i eventually get rejected anyway.

I miss you so much but.. i dunno. Im just stopping now.
I havent yet found anyone who could understand my feelings... usually when anyone has a grasp of it they immediately think that im just being a baby when the solution is supposed to be in front of me.

I just miss you. Thats all.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Morning melancholy. Work is uninspiring and i miss you. Though it seems like someone's already claiming you for themselves.
I don't know what you feel about that. I don't know what you feel at all...