Yes, i miss you, and i wish that i could make you laugh as much as she said she did... yes, i felt slightly jealous... and i felt so incompetent and useless and boring...
But as much as things are awkward... as hard as i keep trying, seemingly to no avail... i cannot keep the charade going by myself... you're not a spectacle, and you're not an audience. If you want this, be a participant. If you won't, then i will not continue. If you don't want this any more than or equal to how much i do, i will not keep at it anymore... it is useless, and it just makes me feel more undeserving...