If everything goes away, it's okay.
I'm used to it happening.
It's kind of strange feeling alone all the time, not seeing any kind of realistic or normal futures ahead... i don't know how people see the world, but however way it is, they're lucky to be able to enjoy even the smallest things.
It's not that i don't feel the same way over certain things. But when i look at other people, they seem to have problems but could simply push the thoughts away until it starts blocking their paths.
Meanwhile, the only future i can imagine is living alone with the full extent of my freedom kept on my daily bag, walking around and exploring by foot the little nooks and crannies people seem to take for granted... because, y'know, beauty is everywhere, and finding a quiet place is a reward in itself. And i do realize that that is more of a dream than a future. Because the only realistic future i can see is one where... i'm not exactly happy nor free.
And if everything goes away... there is a certain freedom exchanged for it. And it's welcome, if it's the only thing that can tolerate me.