it's possible i saw my kitty baby's remains earlier... tho it's been... a week? since we last saw her (i think it's a her but i cannot still ascertain when she was still with us). kitty remains were squished, obviously run over by a car...

sometimes it's nice to be an animal, because unlike people, they don't have very long memories, and are not stuck recalling certain moments of their lives... trauma is a different thing, of course, in that it hurt them too much so that it becomes part of their system... something their brains had developed a defense mech for. but when you're a cat, and your kitten goes missing, and you don't understand what had happened and neither have the ability to reason and blame... then things can be sad, but you move on easy, not halted by the death of an offspring, because the only thing you will have to be thinking about is survival... you don't connect your childbirth, your birth pains, to the existence of your child... maybe you miss the company, you feel that the opportunity to spread your genes is missing or lost, but you do not stay unrealistically hopeful, because everything else would've been put at stake... and that is a power that i could envy.