I keep waiting for you. It's pathetic and pointless, but i still do. I still want to share even a small moment of my day with you. I agree with whoever said that this is one of the most painful forms of self harm, this... love. This illogical attachment that is not felt back. I don't know how much longer i'll be enduring this, because no matter how many times i've said it in the past 3+ years, no matter how still the atmosphere between us becomes, no matter how far off from my dreams this is, i still don't stop waiting, wishing, wanting you, wanting to know you more. I don't care if it doesn't go anywhere - i'm even 99% sure it won't - i just want to know who you are. I want that there be a way to ask, discuss, rant, joke freely about anything, any topic that comes to mind. I want us to be comfortable. But it feels like i am just an intrusion into your life. That i am not welcome. Like the door is open but you don't want to go in because you don't like what you see. Which i suppose is reasonable. I mean, we're not in the same league. And even in my league, i'm not good enough, interesting enough. I'm just never enough, aren't i? Never enough. Never.