i miss you so much. lately though, the more i think of you, and the more i wish to feel your presence, the more lonely i feel... it's not that i expect you to be there for me. i guess it's just slowly sinking in that what i would have loved to happen is something that's so far from happening.



and it hurts, even physically, to see you in person, and think i'm seeing good signs, at the same time being aware that those aren't good signs, just signs of my biased thoughts. nothing else.



i shouldn't have to wait for you empty-handed, right? i shouldn't. my inclination for learning and knowing things make this all the more painful, because i cannot get the answers that i need. it's like being stuck in years-long traffic and having the option to just walk home, but not wanting to, because it might move soon enough, and you'll be leaving your car mid-lane if it did.