I want to tell you about my feelings right now.
I want to write you that letter now.
I want to be able to freely talk to you.
I want to know what your reaction will be, whether you'll be happy about it, or feel nothing, or think me disgusting and to be avoided.
I want an end point to all this insanity.
I want either a new chapter or the end cover. Not hanging, blank pages to ponder on.
I want to hear you talk about it, so I can move on.

Because i don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to frantically search for you when i smell your trademark smell. I don't want to wish for you anymore. I don't want to keep thinking about possibilities anymore, both negatives and positives. I don't want to keep guessing anymore. And i don't want to keep waiting for naught anymore.

I'd like to think that i deserve better than this guessing game, but that i be honest with things, you're the best answer to my wonderings.

But i don't want to float anymore.

And yet, i also don't have any way to ask you about this...