im in that state right now where when i'm not doing anything, my mind goes awry, and i get into a i'm-not-hungry-but-i-need-to-eat-something state.



i don't want to do anything anymore. i don't want to be inspired by you. i don't want my thoughts of you to affect me further. and... i can see the pattern, i can see where this is going. i'm soon gonna lose my interest in everything. this binge eating is already a start. i'm starting to lose my interest in taking care of my health. my creativity is getting boosted by my discouraging thoughts and observations though. i guess it's my form of fighting back this feeling negative placidity. i'm just so tired of everything that it's starting to show up physically.



there go my thoughts again when i saw this pin, something about people being afraid to lose "me"... there are some given people like maybe some of my friends, my parents, some relatives. but i want to know if anyone else is afraid in a different manner... afraid to lose me because they'd feel lost if i went bye-bye... that very strong, very tangible feeling of being alone... i wonder if anyone would feel it when i go.



nah. enough of this blabbering. i need lots and lots and lots of deep sleep.