It should not matter that you don't really see me.
It should not matter that i miss you too much when i don't see you, and immediately worry when you should be around but you're not.
It should not matter that i wish you'd feel the same, but you will continually disappoint my hopes unintentionally.
It should not matter that you are not receptive... that you do not move first, or even, or ever.
It should not ever matter that you're so far away physically, mentally and emotionally.
But everything adds up to my questions... my worries and self-pity and self-hate... of why i cannot be with you. Why you can't see me. Why it feels like either i'm making all the wrong choices or i'm being the wrong person. Or both. Why i cannot connect with you. Why i'm too much of a sissy to be real with you. Why things should be like this. Why i should be like this.
It should not matter that i miss you too much when i don't see you, and immediately worry when you should be around but you're not.
It should not matter that i wish you'd feel the same, but you will continually disappoint my hopes unintentionally.
It should not matter that you are not receptive... that you do not move first, or even, or ever.
It should not ever matter that you're so far away physically, mentally and emotionally.
But everything adds up to my questions... my worries and self-pity and self-hate... of why i cannot be with you. Why you can't see me. Why it feels like either i'm making all the wrong choices or i'm being the wrong person. Or both. Why i cannot connect with you. Why i'm too much of a sissy to be real with you. Why things should be like this. Why i should be like this.
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