Been teetering along the line of... what feels slightly like depression...

The sad is just part of it. Though i think it's the deepest one. There's... stagnancy, and tiredness, and just wanting everything to stop, and suddenly losing whatever motivation is left to reach for... feeling both rawly exposed and 7isolated... mmm... trying to consciously keep my thoughts floating above destruction...

I want to binge eat and not care anymore whether i would still wake up tomorrow or die or be kept in permanent comatose. It feels uplifting to do things that break the barrier of human limitation. It feels like being in control, knowing the possible outcomes and choosing to still do them despite the risks. The result may leave me helpless, but the process is hugely empowering.

But i'll let this pass... i'll let this off... god help keep me sane through the times that i am alone and thinking things...