Shards of jealousy

Why do you talk to her like that... i know it's just work... but...
There's also the mmk episode hahahahhaha such big deal what
I just feel like... im being pushed aside... again... and im jealous... i feel like everything i worked for is for naught... just because her department is not my department... her strength is not my strength... you dont ask me things because why would you? She has the answers, not me, i dont have em.
Im just...
I wish i wasnt like this... i wish i was more comfortable talking... or... i dunno. I wish i could also be appreciated... feel genuinely appreciated... i wish i could help you more...
I know that this is a very immature feeling... theres no point to this, nor proper cause... i guess im just looking for something to point my frustrations at... because if you had wanted to ask for my help, im pretty sure you would... not out of any other reason than the need for help... as is with her...
Im sorry if i feel neglected but also dont want the spotlight... im just looking for someone who would understand me and would be patient with me...