Maybe the question isn't whether you can see my value. Maybe the question should be whether i do have value or none...

Reality is harsh, and it's been kicking me to the ground, face in the mud, for a very long while now. No, i don't plan to take revenge. I'll just take the blows and try to learn something from them. It's harsh when you were once considered a bit of a wonder kid, and you now don't seem to feel the same way. You can't deal with the world the same way you did with your studies back then. It's a much more painful feeling of failure compared to failing some quizzes and plates... papers that amount to nothing when you're done studying... unless you actually learned something from it, in which case, that's the only moment they get some value, and off it flies when you're done learning. But life... life is a constant renewal. Life is worse than being in the military. Life is worse than being kicked out of work. Life is 10x each of those things, and then some, because everything has repercussions and followups.

I don't want to fight anymore, but it doesn't mean that i've also gotten numb from the pains and unfairness of life.