it will always be you.



though you won't read this, it will always, always be you.



i know that it would seem like it's a very recent thing, but it's been like this for a very long while. not as serious, and not as focused, before, when i was still in my teens, because, you know, teens. but it's been there for a long while. it just got rekindled again.



i'm having mixed feelings of frustration, disappointment, and a slowly but ever lowering self-esteem level... everyday is an alone day. i don't think there's anyone who is really content with being alone. i mean, yeah, we can survive alone, but i don't think it's ever come to a point that's like, "oh, he's very likeable. but i don't need him. i can love myself by myself. who needs a partner?" and currently, i'm in this stage where i wish someone would be there for me. i wish someone would be able to naturally appreciate me. it's a nice feeling to be uplifted by someone else - someone who you know would only ever tell you honest-in-his-opinion things, not someone who uplifts you to get your favor, even though they are not in agreement with what they are saying.



it would feel nice to be normal, in this area of life.