this is you feeling jealous. you missing out on everything and feeling the currents flow right under your nose. this is you wanting to be the best, trying to be ambitious, conquering all platforms, but all of it are just wants. this is you being angry for not being able to become someone else. like someone else. this is you being desperate, clutching at very small victories of attention and magnifying them by multiples. this is your sadness and fear speaking. it will be gone soon. within the month.