when you read the English penpoops of a real English-monger, it doesn't sound all to complicated and stuff. it actually sounds sincere and true. and innocent. except the part of "i wish s/he/it will get better. all my prayers!". that part sounds like an automated message.
just my eyes/ears though.
20101229
my personality... is one who waits. i don't want to start the conversation. i don't want to play up to expectations. i want things done because i'm told to do them. i definitely don't flirt. it doesn't come naturally to me.
but i might be getting trodden upon. oh well. price to pay. sad but true. better be real than look stupid. although sometimes the other way works.
but i might be getting trodden upon. oh well. price to pay. sad but true. better be real than look stupid. although sometimes the other way works.
20101223
tatanga tanga. Andami kong inaasahan kahit alam ko ni isa dun di naman matutupad.
sorry po sa lahat ng kabobohang pinaniniwalaan ko. yun lang naman po kasi ang bumubuhay sakin. saka sorry po sa lahat ng katangahan. sorry pag di ako nakakasunod sa utos saka sa pinapagawa. pasensya na kayo. pagod na ko e. nakakapagod pag walang direksyon ang buhay. parang laro lang. parang rpg na walang quests. di mo alam gagawin mo pero di mo rin matapos-tapos.
sorry po sa lahat ng kabobohang pinaniniwalaan ko. yun lang naman po kasi ang bumubuhay sakin. saka sorry po sa lahat ng katangahan. sorry pag di ako nakakasunod sa utos saka sa pinapagawa. pasensya na kayo. pagod na ko e. nakakapagod pag walang direksyon ang buhay. parang laro lang. parang rpg na walang quests. di mo alam gagawin mo pero di mo rin matapos-tapos.
20100913
20100803
soooo... well not "so" confused. just a bit. but i'm done being naive.
you would have been sweet at times, but apparently everyone will FIRST look after what they need, and you needed someone to order around. that's not me. sorry.
you seem to say that you're needing me? or maybe miss me? i don't know where your loyalty lies and up to where your boundaries are. and apparently having a girlfriend isn't enough for you. you'd sacrifice her insecurities just to get what you want, which, up to now i can only decipher as 2 things: (1) need for control, or (2) need for acceptance.
we're friends, isn't that enough? it's not like i owe you anything worth my life. it's not like i owe you anything at all. and i mean, after all that? after feeling like i'm such a "desperate case", you still expect me to be the same?
your. girlfriend. is. having. jealousy. problems. even now that i'm not contacting you. so what the fuck, are you dirtying my name?
i think you have serious control issues.
no, don't expect anything sweet from me anymore. don't even expect me to be warm to you. i found out about a month ago that you weren't worth all the warmth in the world. you're simply selfish.
you would have been sweet at times, but apparently everyone will FIRST look after what they need, and you needed someone to order around. that's not me. sorry.
you seem to say that you're needing me? or maybe miss me? i don't know where your loyalty lies and up to where your boundaries are. and apparently having a girlfriend isn't enough for you. you'd sacrifice her insecurities just to get what you want, which, up to now i can only decipher as 2 things: (1) need for control, or (2) need for acceptance.
we're friends, isn't that enough? it's not like i owe you anything worth my life. it's not like i owe you anything at all. and i mean, after all that? after feeling like i'm such a "desperate case", you still expect me to be the same?
your. girlfriend. is. having. jealousy. problems. even now that i'm not contacting you. so what the fuck, are you dirtying my name?
i think you have serious control issues.
no, don't expect anything sweet from me anymore. don't even expect me to be warm to you. i found out about a month ago that you weren't worth all the warmth in the world. you're simply selfish.
20100610
20100603
20100521
i miss you soooo much. but i also want to forget you.
she has the message on pinpoint. hahaha. i should have had that avatar.
"someday someone's gonna love me"
hahaha.
maybe somebody does already, i'm just not interested. it could be said that i'm selfish and unfair when it comes to that point, but...
how could you teach your heart to love?
wouldn't it be more unfair if i accepted someone because he loves me, then i couldn't, just couldn't love him back?
how do you separate a lover from a friend?
and how do you treat a lover as just a friend, knowing that what she feels inside is worse than not knowing you at all?
i told myself before to be, real. just real.
this is who i am, and i am presenting it to you as is. i don't want to change, because you might fall for the change and not the real me. i can't afford that.
but if this is the price i have to pay for being me...
it's sad, but i'm keeping myself as i am.
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
(yeah for once i'm going to uplift my self worth.)
i could cry a bit, get depressed a bit, miss you a bit, but altogether you're going to fade away from me.
and it's not going to be easy for me, because i've learned to accept who you are.
it's like trying to fight my preferences to make me think that you're bad, you're ugly, you're not as comedic or as concerned or as friendly or as deep as you are.
(well you're not that deep anyway lolz)
yeah. let's start with the cleanup now. get on with the reminiscing. the sooner the better.
she has the message on pinpoint. hahaha. i should have had that avatar.
"someday someone's gonna love me"
hahaha.
maybe somebody does already, i'm just not interested. it could be said that i'm selfish and unfair when it comes to that point, but...
how could you teach your heart to love?
wouldn't it be more unfair if i accepted someone because he loves me, then i couldn't, just couldn't love him back?
how do you separate a lover from a friend?
and how do you treat a lover as just a friend, knowing that what she feels inside is worse than not knowing you at all?
i told myself before to be, real. just real.
this is who i am, and i am presenting it to you as is. i don't want to change, because you might fall for the change and not the real me. i can't afford that.
but if this is the price i have to pay for being me...
it's sad, but i'm keeping myself as i am.
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
(yeah for once i'm going to uplift my self worth.)
i could cry a bit, get depressed a bit, miss you a bit, but altogether you're going to fade away from me.
and it's not going to be easy for me, because i've learned to accept who you are.
it's like trying to fight my preferences to make me think that you're bad, you're ugly, you're not as comedic or as concerned or as friendly or as deep as you are.
(well you're not that deep anyway lolz)
yeah. let's start with the cleanup now. get on with the reminiscing. the sooner the better.
20100519
i'm texting you and you're replying. we joke each other. laugh about it.
you keep teasing me. i tease back, but i guess you're better at it. it's ok though. all smiles.
you ask something, i answer. you answer back that you don't get it. i understand (the word i used was deeper anyway). so i answer again.
you're gonna post it now?
why?
for someone?
... for someone?
do i even mean anything to you?
does it even mean anything that i told you i loved you?
guess not.
my heart's close to bursting now. haha. i feel like i'm such a desperate case.
you keep teasing me. i tease back, but i guess you're better at it. it's ok though. all smiles.
you ask something, i answer. you answer back that you don't get it. i understand (the word i used was deeper anyway). so i answer again.
you're gonna post it now?
why?
for someone?
... for someone?
do i even mean anything to you?
does it even mean anything that i told you i loved you?
guess not.
my heart's close to bursting now. haha. i feel like i'm such a desperate case.
20100507
20100430
20100412
20100325
i can't help thinking as to why i like you when you're still such a kid. i mean, really, you don't even know the context of saying "i love you" other than "because i felt like it".
i keep asking that you grow up fast and see me as more than a friend. but, huh, how the heck is that possible. and i wouldn't want you growing up fast by going through something terrible. no. better you go at your own pace.
i'll just sit here and stay and, i dunno, maybe be your sister or something. your friend of course. i don't know your intentions either. you're a living paradigm. i wish i could decode you.
i keep asking that you grow up fast and see me as more than a friend. but, huh, how the heck is that possible. and i wouldn't want you growing up fast by going through something terrible. no. better you go at your own pace.
i'll just sit here and stay and, i dunno, maybe be your sister or something. your friend of course. i don't know your intentions either. you're a living paradigm. i wish i could decode you.
20100322
20100314
i wish u would talk to me.
yeah it's all in the sentence. read it. with feelings.
gosh i want to start a conversation but i don't know how and i don't know if i should. maybe u just don't have enough load or something; maybe i'm just being paranoid (noting that i did the first move); maybe there's nothing to get afraid of. but what sort of confirmation do i have? nothing.
i SO regret what i did. darn it.
yeah it's all in the sentence. read it. with feelings.
gosh i want to start a conversation but i don't know how and i don't know if i should. maybe u just don't have enough load or something; maybe i'm just being paranoid (noting that i did the first move); maybe there's nothing to get afraid of. but what sort of confirmation do i have? nothing.
i SO regret what i did. darn it.
20100310
20100308
20100222
20100218
20100215
hehe.
asan na yun? bat mo tinanggal?
assuming nanaman ako hahaha.
hay. tapos luha ulit. alam na alam ko na mangyayari. sus.
bat ko pa kaya iniinda e alam ko namang walang mangyayari. hay naku. di na natuto.
kahit alam ko nang wala, ayun. masakit parin. haha.
sabi ko dati kahit maging kaclose ko lang yung crush ko. ayun naging close nga. mas mahirap pala hahaha. kala ko mas masaya.
wag ko daw sirain pagkakaibigan namin. dahil kay piolo pascual (HAHAHAHA. WATDAPAK PIOLO PASCUAL.) kung sakali daw dumating yung panahon edi hapi ending potek. haha.
ewan kung tama ako, pero pakiramdam ko di mo yun gusto mangyari. ano dahilan mo? iiwanan ko kau ni carmen su. haha.
sa totoo lang? pakialam ko kung maiwan si carmen su. kaibigan ko lang yun. mejo may kayabangan nga yun e. pero ikaw lang naman talaga yung inaalala ko e. kasi pag dumating yung panahon, SIGURADONG iiwanan kita. kailangan kasi e. awkward yun pag di kita iniwan.
eh ayaw mo din ako umalis. matutuwa na sana ako e, kaso di ko alam kung ano talaga intensyon mo. di ko alam kung torpe ka at hanggang usap kaibigan lang ang kaya mo, o talagang wala at senti ka lang.
"di ko pa kaya mawala ka samin"
sayang. samin. haha.
sakit parin dong. sakit :'(
asan na yun? bat mo tinanggal?
assuming nanaman ako hahaha.
hay. tapos luha ulit. alam na alam ko na mangyayari. sus.
bat ko pa kaya iniinda e alam ko namang walang mangyayari. hay naku. di na natuto.
kahit alam ko nang wala, ayun. masakit parin. haha.
sabi ko dati kahit maging kaclose ko lang yung crush ko. ayun naging close nga. mas mahirap pala hahaha. kala ko mas masaya.
wag ko daw sirain pagkakaibigan namin. dahil kay piolo pascual (HAHAHAHA. WATDAPAK PIOLO PASCUAL.) kung sakali daw dumating yung panahon edi hapi ending potek. haha.
ewan kung tama ako, pero pakiramdam ko di mo yun gusto mangyari. ano dahilan mo? iiwanan ko kau ni carmen su. haha.
sa totoo lang? pakialam ko kung maiwan si carmen su. kaibigan ko lang yun. mejo may kayabangan nga yun e. pero ikaw lang naman talaga yung inaalala ko e. kasi pag dumating yung panahon, SIGURADONG iiwanan kita. kailangan kasi e. awkward yun pag di kita iniwan.
eh ayaw mo din ako umalis. matutuwa na sana ako e, kaso di ko alam kung ano talaga intensyon mo. di ko alam kung torpe ka at hanggang usap kaibigan lang ang kaya mo, o talagang wala at senti ka lang.
"di ko pa kaya mawala ka samin"
sayang. samin. haha.
sakit parin dong. sakit :'(
20100211
mas magandang di ako makipagkita sayo para kung ano ka sakin ngayon, ganun ka nalang palagi, at di na ko madevelop sayo.
di ko din kasi alam kung mas ok ka sa personal o mas masama, pero sige benefit of the doubt sayo na, kaya iiwasan nalang kita.
ugok ka kasi. ang manhid mo. amp.
di mo pala alam. sabihin nalang nating di mo alam kaya ganyan ka umasal.
kala mo ganun lang yun? haller.
di ko din kasi alam kung mas ok ka sa personal o mas masama, pero sige benefit of the doubt sayo na, kaya iiwasan nalang kita.
ugok ka kasi. ang manhid mo. amp.
di mo pala alam. sabihin nalang nating di mo alam kaya ganyan ka umasal.
kala mo ganun lang yun? haller.
aww syeeeeeeet. nalulungkot ako. naiiyak ako. aaaaahhhh.
bat ganuuuuuuuuun. do i have to choose all the time??
grabe. potek. mamimiss kita mashado nyan kahit pinaluha mo na ko hahaha. tapos nalaman ko pang ako lang pala yung nagpapakatanga. sus. hahahahaha. hay grabe.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NAMAN EEEHHH
MANHID KA HAYOP KA. MANHID KA MASHADO. aaaawww. ansakit takte hahahaha. tae talaga. maygudnes. nakakaloka ito. sakeeeet. tangina ang manhid mo DONG! GRABE! GRABE TALAGA SYET.
GRABE TT_TT
bat ganuuuuuuuuun. do i have to choose all the time??
grabe. potek. mamimiss kita mashado nyan kahit pinaluha mo na ko hahaha. tapos nalaman ko pang ako lang pala yung nagpapakatanga. sus. hahahahaha. hay grabe.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NAMAN EEEHHH
MANHID KA HAYOP KA. MANHID KA MASHADO. aaaawww. ansakit takte hahahaha. tae talaga. maygudnes. nakakaloka ito. sakeeeet. tangina ang manhid mo DONG! GRABE! GRABE TALAGA SYET.
GRABE TT_TT
20100202
20100123
20100119
awww. whatever happened. di na pwede mag assume hahaha. nakilala ko na kung sino :P
anyway, may sakit, pero di naman sobra. it's good enough we're friends.
*****
hmm. bigla kang bumalik. di ko lang alam kung gm or not. just proves that you're online.
dito ko din makikita kung dapat ba kita bitawan. panibagong pagiintay. hay nako. bat kasi di nalang ako diretsuhin.
anyway, may sakit, pero di naman sobra. it's good enough we're friends.
*****
hmm. bigla kang bumalik. di ko lang alam kung gm or not. just proves that you're online.
dito ko din makikita kung dapat ba kita bitawan. panibagong pagiintay. hay nako. bat kasi di nalang ako diretsuhin.
20100109
di ka man lang nagpaparamdam. no text no pm. no online. no note. nothing. parang bigla kang poof. that was since december.
sabi mo busy ka? fine. busy din naman ako e. but i tried finding time to contact u.
kung totoo yung sinabi mong busy ka lang, well, that doesn't sound like something i'd be happy about. i just don't know if you're contented with things that way.
kung di naman totoo, i'd strongly suggest (as if babasahin mo to) na sabihin mo nalang sakin ng diretsahan. para di kita iniintay.
kasi kung di nga totoo, eh FYI, nagmumuka na kong tanga dito.
sabi mo busy ka? fine. busy din naman ako e. but i tried finding time to contact u.
kung totoo yung sinabi mong busy ka lang, well, that doesn't sound like something i'd be happy about. i just don't know if you're contented with things that way.
kung di naman totoo, i'd strongly suggest (as if babasahin mo to) na sabihin mo nalang sakin ng diretsahan. para di kita iniintay.
kasi kung di nga totoo, eh FYI, nagmumuka na kong tanga dito.
20100102
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