you have got to have one of the most intriguing, confusing, memorable, crazy, undecipherable, rebellious, irresponsible, ballistic, feeble, regrettable, wasted footprint in my life. and i'm definitely not gonna forget that. ever.

what you're doing, i think you're trying to follow my ways.

i want to be angry at you but i can't, because i know that i'm angry out of my own folly.

i wish memory can be erased in a snap. yeah i know what you're probably thinking. haha. (that's if you ever read this post)

i can wait, if that's what you want and if i see that there's something to wait for. i just wish there was. i tried, but you're very much like a little kid. i wish you'd become more adult with your thinking. or maybe you are, but if you are, then i don't know why you did that mistake.


I DON'T WANT ANYONE CONTROLLING MY LIFE. if that is possible.


please help yourself. i said i'm willing to sacrifice. i always am willing. i'm always wanting to help others before me, because i know i'm not worth even a cent to anyone, and others are priceless as compared to me. so i wish to give myself a bit of worth, even temporarily, even if it makes me seem like i'm leading my life on wrong intentions. as long as it helps, i will help. you can use my life as your cre-.. no. not credit card. you have to pay if it was. you can use my life as your emergency exit, even for one time use, as long as i can prove my worth. no strings attached, no payment needed. free for all.


...i just don't see my life's worth. do you understand?


that's why i keep repeating that as much as possible, i don't want to become a hindrance to your life. i don't like that i'm the cause of your one-track mind. i don't want to make you wear those things that horses wear on their eyes. i will keep pushing you away because i think that's best for you. if you come back with an open mind, done with taking in all the consequences that could happen and the effects of your actions and the people who could get involved, then maybe i will accept you wholeheartedly, because i know that you are fully aware of everything and not just pinpointing your eyes on a section of the whole truth. i'm going to give you the sun, if that's all the light you need to see everything, and take that stupid little flashlight from your hands.


i have got to be the most bullheaded person in the world.