what on earth did i just dream about.

why did i just dream about you? you're already gone for 4 years. i think that's already a long time. long enough for me to look at someone else.

i did "mourn" for about 2 years, and i still remember you. you prolly don't think i would be affected this much. but yes i am. not in a bad way, nor in a good way. just... this. it's filed under the category of "experience" and "past" and "sorrows". it's already filled up its time in the "unsolved" drawers. so why the heck did you come back? you should be dead.

it even felt like you were holding my hands. i could actually feel the warmth of your hands. it felt weird. romantic but weird. because even while i was dreaming, deep inside my dream's consciousness, i know that it wasn't real and it couldn't happen. it couldn't happen because first off, i have never held your h- wait, i HAVE held your hand. the dance on prom night. that time i still had no idea that you also liked me. but you did, and you didn't speak of it until the last month of the school year. which i think is a pretty good decision since you had your girl and your girl had ears in campus. also, even if it never reached her radar, it would still be morally wrong.

i don't know if i still want to see you again. i don't think i do. because i don't want my feelings to come back.

what a sad story.