My heart is just heavy.. i want to just collapse into myself and disappear.
I want to be forgotten, like i never existed. By everyone. It can't be that someone remembers and others forget. That'll be a burden.
There are still things that i want to do, experience, remember. But i think my health is starting to lock the doors to those things.
I think... the reason that i am frustrated most of the time... that reason is also disappearing. Like there's no reason to be angry anymore, cos nobody else is robbing you of that chance. It's literally just the composition of you now, and you have no say in it anymore.
I feel like a building slowly losing integrity brick by brick. Like a dammed river going dry. Like a noisy city with dying lights.
I feel the anxiety of and grief for my cracking, disappearing self.
I want to be forgotten, like i never existed. By everyone. It can't be that someone remembers and others forget. That'll be a burden.
There are still things that i want to do, experience, remember. But i think my health is starting to lock the doors to those things.
I think... the reason that i am frustrated most of the time... that reason is also disappearing. Like there's no reason to be angry anymore, cos nobody else is robbing you of that chance. It's literally just the composition of you now, and you have no say in it anymore.
I feel like a building slowly losing integrity brick by brick. Like a dammed river going dry. Like a noisy city with dying lights.
I feel the anxiety of and grief for my cracking, disappearing self.
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