I feel like i'm not mentally healthy lately.
I know it sounds so cliche. Even to me. Everyone claims it these days. Not to say it's invalid, but i think some are using the term too loosely. It feels like the new "emo".
But for mine... i feel like i have to do something, whatever thing, even just eating at vacant times. Cos i feel so... out of it, if im not doing anything. I sleep, close my eyes, only when my brain tells me to (which is where my eyes start closing by themselves).
I dont know if it's anxiety. Ive felt anxious before. Kinda like extreme stage fright with the running thoughts and beads of sweat and almost freezing, not knowing what to do or where to start. But it's very rare, and i think it happens to everyone, that kind of very rare frequency. I think it's normal.
I think im closer to "manic", but that also feels too deep, too much, to use as *my* term. But i get impulsive sometimes due to these "hanging/floating" feelings. I think my and le fams health is stressing me out. My mood tends to change with tiny triggers. All i really want right now is to be somewhere that is completely devoid of triggers and worries. But what do i do? At some point recently i just felt so unmotivated to even play.
I wanna get back to that mood/mode where im concerned for my health, where i feel productive, positive. I know when the curtains open or close, but i don't know what pulls the strings.
I know it sounds so cliche. Even to me. Everyone claims it these days. Not to say it's invalid, but i think some are using the term too loosely. It feels like the new "emo".
But for mine... i feel like i have to do something, whatever thing, even just eating at vacant times. Cos i feel so... out of it, if im not doing anything. I sleep, close my eyes, only when my brain tells me to (which is where my eyes start closing by themselves).
I dont know if it's anxiety. Ive felt anxious before. Kinda like extreme stage fright with the running thoughts and beads of sweat and almost freezing, not knowing what to do or where to start. But it's very rare, and i think it happens to everyone, that kind of very rare frequency. I think it's normal.
I think im closer to "manic", but that also feels too deep, too much, to use as *my* term. But i get impulsive sometimes due to these "hanging/floating" feelings. I think my and le fams health is stressing me out. My mood tends to change with tiny triggers. All i really want right now is to be somewhere that is completely devoid of triggers and worries. But what do i do? At some point recently i just felt so unmotivated to even play.
I wanna get back to that mood/mode where im concerned for my health, where i feel productive, positive. I know when the curtains open or close, but i don't know what pulls the strings.
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