you know umm...

i don't know how to turn my feelings right now into words.

there's just this really heavy feeling in my chest that... i kind of want to cry, out of frustration for so many things.

it's like... being taken for granted.

putting importance on people is... tiring. it drains me. it's very natural to me but it absolutely drains me. it's hoping for a response, for a... i dunno, anything that can be taken as...

i guess i just really want to make a difference in people's lives. even in small ways. just something that i can see as having influenced them in a good way.

right now i feel useless. (as i do most of the time lol.)

i'm not needed. by anyone.

i'm just a waste of space. i'm like... this huge ague in people's lives that they want to get rid of but somehow forget about, until they see me again.

i just want to disappear. maybe see who will miss me. haha.

i can be really narcissistic sometimes lol.

but really... i feel like surplus junk. i think that if i disappear, some might wonder about my disappearance, but it ultimately wouldn't even scratch the coating on the hood of their lives. like a splatter of bird poop on their windshields. you know it's there, you aren't exactly in a hurry to get rid of it no matter how annoying it is, but when you do get rid of it, thank the gods because there's no more annoyance. that feeling.

eh wala nga raw akong silbi, diba? ano pa nga bang sinasakit ng puso ko, eh andyan na nga, nakalatag na...