i have a feeling of inadequacy about myself, towards things i want. things i'm curious about. or things or people i love. about jobs and skills.

but yet i have this certain level of vanity that won't get out of my head and my personality, no matter how annoyed i am by it.

it's a deadly combination that almost always ends up embarrassing me memorably. it scares me, but yet this stupidity that i carry unwillingly always haunts my every move and thought.

i wish it would just leave me be. i can live with being inadequate, but i hate this vanity.