I don't know what I feel.
I've confessed to a cousin already. I don't know what he thinks about it.
But from my perspective, it seems a pointless road to walk on. I don't think he even cares. Which is... well, to be expected.
I think I'm just being engulfed by this hopeful hopelessness I'm feeling. It's weird being dragged this way and that by my brain. I really want to just flick a switch for this. Stop this stupidity from continuing.