i'm going to tell you what i think.

and i goddamn hell hope that you would see this and translate it lol. and i hope that if you do, it would be a good translation.

i think it would be a fairy tale brought to life.

i think it would be every hopeless romantic's dream, and they wouldn't really be jealous. i think they'd be happy for me too, and they'd wish that it would also happen to them.

i think it would be such a beautiful dream that i wouldn't be able to completely, 100%, absorb it, for how long my life lasts.

because it would be perfect. it would be... yes, perfect. in every sense.

it would be unattainable

it would be beautiful, but also stressful, busy, active all the time. we might even get tired after some time, but still come back to each other when we recover. when you recover, because i will give you more understanding, because you will need it, as dictated by your work.

and it would just be lively. we will be like teenagers in love. it would be an innocent sort of love, simply enjoying the company of each other while walking the streets, running from people, hiding, playing games, etc. it would be the sort of fun where we fit with each other like a 2-piece puzzle put right. it would be fulfilling, it would be wholesome, it would be complete.

..........

but yeah, i'm just dreaming, and that's the part that hurts the most. i don't want to keep losing hope on things that i dream of, but sometimes i also get confused on whether to actually hope for something that is most likely not gonna happen, or just listen to the rules of probability, telling me that, no, dear, there's only 1% chance of that happening. you're better off just doing what you would do when the other 99% happens, and i'm pretty sure the 99% would, not the 1%.