Guh. I hate when this impulse is trying to overcome me. The brain really is my biggest enemy. I should have more control over my impulses. I hate this weakness.

On the other hand... I feel like I'm changing. And in my own perspective, it's not for the better. It's like I'm becoming more... violent, or vengeful, or angsty. I keep thinking of the more violent ways when trying to solve problems or conflicts.

I'm not like this before. I had always been very calm about stuff before. But now... it feels different. I don't like this but somehow, it is also very addicting. It's like letting go of all stress and problematic thoughts. It's very easy to commit, because it's simply impulsive.

I'm losing myself :(