for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.
fuck health.
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im tired, uninspired, unmotivated, emotional, sad, slow, lifeless, boring, dull.
i lack confidence.
if i had confidence, i don't know where to invest it in.
i'm sick, frail, like a biscuit gone dry. one fall and i'm cracked. i can't be baked again, and dunking me in milk only leaves me going with the circular flow of it, all the while in crumbles.
i am a destroyed being.
how can i be built again when... i refuse to?
what happiness is there that i can hope for when i can pretty much see what will happen in my future?
it's something i cannot refuse or pay others to do it for me. it's my responsibility.
they probably thank God that i have some brains. well, i am almost blaming God that i am frail too. i suppose it's an exchange for my abilities.
so.
"fair" and "just" my ass.
life has a way of making people think that "everything is FAIR" with which we know it really is not. perhaps, its a matter of breaking the boundaries of the "fair" and "not fair" in life that we truly appreciate what we have and not have.. although that barrier is very hard to break, i think with perseverance and much inspiration, you can break that barrier.. or maybe just make a little fragile than it used to be..
ReplyDeletedon't be too hard on yourself. we don't have everything so that we have something to look forward to.
^________^!!