I think i like you because my immediate first impression is you are a gentle, quiet soul with decency. The way you answered questions clearly and explained patiently, and did your job in a not-lazy manner (i don't know what it's called, but i could see that you weren't doing the job just for the sake of doing it / barely the minimum). I don't know if it's plain training but i think there's at least some actual character in there. And finding you, you really do seem a decent guy. At least from what i can check. And you're also cute. I don't know how people see you, but i'm proud that you're working a job where you have to meet people face to face, knowing they could easily insult or throw jokes at you. That was my instant interpretation too, which made me think that "that" is cute rather than odd. It became a quirk rather than a hindrance. I appreciate that very much. Yeah, i think you're okay. And um.. i think i'm further down that line. Nothing exceptional, or to be proud of. So... yeah. I guess i admire you for that, and in comparison.

I can't do anything about it. Jfc. I just hope the antibiotic starts taking effect soon. And the fucking hiccups go away because WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU??!?? IM SO FUCKING ANGRY I CAN'T DO ANYTHING

I want to go..

Just a short moment of sanity

I dreamed of you again. But i think it’s because of that prince charming person in the video lol, with the nice but fake teeth. Which my brain gave to you. Bollocks.

Im just so tired.

Wish there was someone i could run and cry to without feeling like a weakling.

Having body pains myself. And at a time when i can’t afford to have em.

Feels like im in some sorta mental state. A manic… emotion. I have to stop myself from being too impulsive because the tendency and anxiety is definitely there, like i need to do something / clean / throw away things / induce some sort of order even thru the most illogical means. Im just thankful that part of me can still keep my tendencies in check.

It doesnt feel like there is light at the end of this tunnel. The blackness just keeps getting blacker and blacker. Im tired of worrying and looking out all the time. There are many things i want to try or experience but this darkness keeps hampering everything, bit by bit. Even the simplest joys are starting to get out of reach..

I want to get out of this stupid dream..

It’s empty when there’s nothing to do.

Like a neverending void i continuously fall in.

It’s not nice or good, i can say that much…

i just want to reclaim my life.