It just feels frustrating. Feels like being trapped in an endless loop. My brain is thinking "it will end eventually." But everyday, esp going to work, i want to cry. "Here we go again... when will this end..."

I just dreamed of myself assuming my mother is dead, but thankfully the other people in my dream found that ridiculous and pointed me to where she was, very much alive.

Trying to look at my future and i see nothing.

I don't see the point in doing all of this. In doing anything at all. I enjoy my games but it's also very clear to me that these are temporary, fantastical achievements, nothing more.

I feel like, if the gods are truly alive and they wove my fate, that they're somehow toying with me, giving me wants that i can't have. Making me yearn for a different life.

I wonder how i would be if i was born into a different situation. But i think if i was born with the same character i have now, things will still be the same.

I dunno. I think other people would for sure benefit more, and give back more, from the oxygen and comfort im consuming.