I have this strange need to... talk? With someone, about something that i can't even clearly describe to myself. I'm not even sure what i would be talking about.
Also, i always sound boastful or a know-it-all when i talk, i find. I wish i could change that, stop myself before i start. I mean, i do think of my words, but... i guess part of that is the impulse to appear cool, or more belonging, or be easier to accept if you sound like you can confidently carry yourself. But that's a problem, because i won't be able to keep it up.
I have been imagining what would happen if i ever meet the former bff. The only thing i want to tell her is that she is wrong, that i never ever used her. I get angry just thinking about it. I know in my heart that i will never do that to anyone, but i feel like nothing i do will ever prove it. I feel like nothing i do will ever prove what i am/may be capable of doing, and what i will never do, even on my life...