something has just died within me.

so many words. i should learn to rein them all and hear them one by one.

why is it that when i do something, or when i am-

why is it that when i am being myself, something pops up to ruin it?

or maybe that is also a part of myself. and i am ruining myself. effortlessly too.

either i confine myself or i start learning to deal with it. deal with my stupidity. which i don't even know when it starts or stops. but i'm definitely affecting people. and i hate it so much. because for all the so-called discipline that i am trying to put on myself, these little things still seem to seep out at surprising times.

the smallest things.

i don't even know, or i'm not even sure, if i should be blaming myself.

the world seems to be getting smaller and smaller, and more unpredictable, and noisier.