Just a short moment of sanity

I dreamed of you again. But i think it’s because of that prince charming person in the video lol, with the nice but fake teeth. Which my brain gave to you. Bollocks.

Im just so tired.

Wish there was someone i could run and cry to without feeling like a weakling.

Having body pains myself. And at a time when i can’t afford to have em.

Feels like im in some sorta mental state. A manic… emotion. I have to stop myself from being too impulsive because the tendency and anxiety is definitely there, like i need to do something / clean / throw away things / induce some sort of order even thru the most illogical means. Im just thankful that part of me can still keep my tendencies in check.

It doesnt feel like there is light at the end of this tunnel. The blackness just keeps getting blacker and blacker. Im tired of worrying and looking out all the time. There are many things i want to try or experience but this darkness keeps hampering everything, bit by bit. Even the simplest joys are starting to get out of reach..

I want to get out of this stupid dream..

It’s empty when there’s nothing to do.

Like a neverending void i continuously fall in.

It’s not nice or good, i can say that much…

i just want to reclaim my life.

Hope youre ok and doing ok.. i miss you so much. Take care of yourself. Youre probably busy making sure the family is ok. Just dont forget yourself.

I just miss you, is all. My eyes are closing, goodnight.

MIA 🙁
IMY...

Hope you're ok. And your fam. Haven't felt your presence for ages.

I feel like she thinks i'm competition. I think we're just on different planes, so why compete? I can't be her and she can't be me. It's just annoying having to feel that animosity hidden in fake friendliness.