Thurd party. Funny typo.
Anyway. Such is life, i guess. If the stars don't say, it's not gonna happen, not even if you tried.
is this manic?
i have such strong feelings about not going back to work and cutting ties with everyone. to the point that i kinda wanna cry and plead for it. i don't wanna go back to that soulless routine...
in the 5 days break we had, i've p.much forgotten about all of my work commitments. my brain is just... empty.
i am not looking forward to.. no, i DESPISE that job.
i've been thinking, you have 3 levels of tolerance for jobs: you love it, you can tolerate it, and you hate it. i went in tolerating it, but now i just hate it. i just FUCKING hate it.
ive deactivated my fb so.. i really don't wanna be a contact person anymore. i have yet to follow up on that bullshit lab company tho. im really hoping its them who deposited the amount so i don't have to follow up again on their stupid fucking asses.
from this day... i will do what i can, but i will stay in the background. i don't want to talk with anyone anymore. i ABHOR this job. i JUST FUCKING HATE IT. if it had a physical form i would have already killed it or destroyed it.
that's the best move i guess.
sometimes you need to remove yourself from the situation in order to not get hurt again. in order to avoid building anger and jealousy.
no one owes you anything, esp. not when it hinders their happiness. if you're holding the solution, use it. it doesn't mean you become happy, but peace, you get peace. there's nothing else you can do about it, and that's the only way you can go around it.
they might not even know how much their actions affect you because they don't even know its impact on you. so maybe the best course of action is to un-know its impact on you as well.